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😍 5/5 - You guys will likely never understand the sheer willpower
By 👻 @Johnny N., 03/13/2024 3:00 am
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You guys will likely never understand the sheer willpower and determination it took to not open this review with a Drake lyric, and I just want my pat on the back. Thank you. After loosely trying to get a res here for years, we finally got it. Shoutout to my girl Nicole K. on Yelp. She really the plug. I seen she always be in here and asked her how. She flexed up on me and said "You want one? I got you." DAMN, SHE'S LIKE THAT. Walking into Carbone, I actually felt like the MAN. Was the Drake line "Last table left in Carbone callin plays on a rotary phone," on repeat in my head while walking in? Yes. Yes it was. But it's lowkey been on repeat in my head since 2017 so whatever. But yeah, right upon entry, I got it. Vibes are IMMACULATE. I'm checking in at the host stand with a classy Italian dude in a beautiful navy blue pinstripe suit, Frank Sinatra playing through the speakers, a vintage Italian decor with low lit lighting, customers dressed to the nines, etc. Just everything you could want out of an experience like this. We sat down and I wasn't gonna drink, but that glass of Chianti Classico was looking at me soooooo crazy... I folded like a lawn chair ahahaa. As we were scanning the menu-PLOP! The waiter puts down a basket of bread, a plate of cold cuts, and some pickled cauliflower. This was lowkey a lot of food for just being on the house, I was JUICED. My roommate (Former USC Basketball Superstar) and I tore into this leaving no remnants of any food, we gettin our money's worth ahahahaa. We both ordered the Spicy Rigatoni and opted to split the meatballs. I almost went with the Lobster Ravioli, but idk. Maybe I'm CRAZY, but lobster just doesn't really do it for me like that. Y'all know Lobster used to be prison & peasant food? What a crazy come up Lobster had lmao. I'm tryna be like Lobster. The Spicy Rigatoni, as pictured on your friends instagram stories every time they go to Carbone, was delicious and worth every last bit of hype. The Carbone Spicy Rigatoni has to be the world's most photographed pasta. It's a top 10 plate of pasta I've ever had. Number 1 is easily the Penne Alla Vodka from Alla Vecchia Bettola in Florence, though. That's the LeBron of the pasta game. Oh you haven't been to Florence??? COULDN'T BE ME! After we demolished the meatballs, I noticed the veal parmesan getting delivered to the table next to us and got the worst FOMO you could ever imagine, as it looked unreal. I can only equate it to the level of FOMO when I was in high school and I saw my close friends all out at a party I wasn't invited to in the back of someone's snapchat story..... No? Just me? Oof. We were essentially the last table left in this place, with my roommate actually making some business calls on the rotary phone lol it was pretty cool... He does work at Bloomberg though, so.... I ordered a glass of Domina to go with me home. Typically restaurants that I have high expectations for let me down worse than Amazon's acquisition of Whole Foods, but Carbone exceeded them, and quite easily. They got 5 stars in the holy trinity of the food industry: Great food, great ambiance, and great service. It really is that simple at the end of the day. BELIEVE THE HYPE! IG @jnov_ Tiktok @jnov_reviews
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