Masseria Washington - Buy Reservations

Updating my review since it's been a while and I visited recently. Stopped in for the tasting menu at the chefs counter. Pretty average food, and at this price point it's just not for me - there are many other one stars in dc with more memorable food and service, and most for less $. Let's start with service - almost immediately we knew it wouldn't be for us, our server started off pushy with cocktails, giving us what felt like one minute to browse the menu before recommending specific one and asking if we'd like to order them..while I appreciate recommendations, I can read the menu and make a decision on my own thanks. When my partner said he didn't want a cocktail, the server took his drink menu and that was that - he had picked out a wine he wanted to try but I guess that didn't matter as the guy sped off. He also assured me that I'd be sent a copy of the menu when he saw me taking notes, saying I didn't have to do that and making me feel uncomfortable for doing so (I like taking notes, I realize I don't have to do this during a meal lol) - and still haven't received that menu. Little things like this on top of overall just making us feel like we were a nuisance, over-explaining things with what we felt was a general condescending tone during every interaction as if were new to fine dining - far from it. For the dining experience - some good bites, some average, and others very bad. I can't remember the last time I've sent back almost a full course of a tasting menu - we typically finish everything + add ons, but we really did not care for two of the courses. Cocktail was good. Amuse bouche was fine but not memorable. The bread service was ok with the exception of the savory parm filled bombolini which was delicious. The burrata with oyster and caviar was very nice. Then we move on to some bigger plates - sheeps milk ricotta with vegetables was fine, turbot with heirloom tomatoes had a nice consommé, risotto with truffles was rich and tasty (although doesn't touch the similar dish served at jont), XO pasta is one of their classics although this was like a 2.5 bite portion, ravioli with chanterelles was pretty good. Foienoli is fun. Then we got two the two main entrees - one was a large portion of sweetbreads, served with charred broccolini. The combo of sweetbread flavor + this burnt broccoli with a smoky sauce and broccoli purée destroyed my palette - I couldn't eat more than a couple bites, it was that bad. My partner was drinking water after his bites to get it down. One of the worst courses I've had on any tasting menu to date. Next was a Guinea fowl - had a bunch of components on the plate that were all over the place with no flavors complimenting each other. The bird was pounded thin and pretty dry. The jus needed work, the shio koji was too sweet and did nothing for the plate, the poached plums were a random unwelcome addition. Lacking a clear vision and lots of execution. Next was the palette cleanser, with a candy tuile that was too thick and wouldn't break, and then got stuck in your teeth - not sure who signed off on that one. The final dessert course was a plate of apricot in different forms - cake, puree, brittle, ice cream. This was ok but didn't blow me away. We also opted for a cheese course, ordered and paid for 5 but was given 3 - by that point we didn't want to raise a stink, we just wanted the meal to end. Cheese course is an afterthought, served with slices of bread, a jam and some walnuts, and the three we had weren't anything special. And if that wasn't enough, we saw multiple bugs on the counter during our meal. The first was a decent sized cockroach that ran across the counter and hid under the water bottle. Being that food prep is just on the other side of the counter, this is pretty gross, and again not something I've seen at 50+ other Michelin restaurants. The second was a smaller one that I took care of myself. Sitting at the counter also wasn't particularly enjoyable - the chairs are uncomfortable and the kitchen staff never looked happy to be there (there was good lighting though). The space between courses can be long, so this meal of 8 courses dragged out to 2.5 hours without any pairings. For $700+ I expect a bit higher quality of food, service, and atmosphere. Also, selling masseria branded candles in the bathroom disguised as art is pretty tacky.

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